Green tea, flax seed and fish oil have all been recommended to me as natural, heart healthy alternatives to pharmaceutical drugs by their various wide-eyed proselytizers. Alas, I have had zero faith in nature's remedies ever since a liquid mixture of eucalyptus, echinacea and zinc (a foul tasting concoction that even a mad scientist would think twice about before drinking) failed to have any effect whatsoever on an annoying cough I was stricken with one winter.
In fact, whenever some sort of medicinal root or herb is mentioned in connection with your health, it is worth recalling that hellbore and borage were popular sixteenth-century panaceas for black bile, and that bloodletting with leeches was once considered a cure for almost any malady. Frankly, I see little difference between such grotesque practices and the holistic healing products aisle at Whole Foods.
The plain truth is: flax seeds produce flatulence; fish oil makes you belch; and I'm not exactly sure what green tea does but I'll wager that it's not particularly pleasant either. Lipitor and Crestor pills have their worrisome side-effects too, obviously, but they generally do not involve vulgar noises, disgusting smells and consequent social ostracization.
Fortunately, certain authorities also regard dark chocolate, coffee and red wine as beneficial additions to a heart healthy diet. Of course, the Aristotelian ideal advocates moderation in all things, so consuming too much of these three delicious substances might be unwise, but then who is this killjoy Greek philosopher to argue with the experts at Lindt, Lavazza and Chateau de Coeur anyway? Personally I prefer to pin my faith on medical science and luxury brands, rather than listening to the sandal-wearing maniacs who hang around Norwegian dockyards trying to squeeze the juice out of dead herrings. But that's just me.
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