Halloween 2011: I require no elaborate costume or ghoulish prosthetic make-up to join in this year's festivities. I simply need to remove my shirt, revealing the gruesome surgical scar usually concealed from the eyes of polite society. Just watch those greedy trick-or-treaters run off screaming into the night.
"Don't go to the house at the end of the street whatever you do," they will whisper to one another. "He's a real live topless Frankenstein's monster, and he's only got soy Oreos and fish oil candy. It's truly terrifying."
To be honest, I had hoped that the scar would be paler by now, but five months after my operation it still resembles a vertical line scrawled on my chest with a bright red sharpie. I still feel the occasional pull, ache and twinge, too, briefly forcing my mouth into a poorly-carved pumpkin-head grimace; and I sometimes stagger around like a dizzy zombie if I forget to eat before taking my beta-blockers.
All these side-effects: a little bit of trick still left in the treat of recovery, and all perfectly acceptable ready-made Halloween costumes.
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